ranian analyst: We
“We have reviewed
Tucker Carlson vs The Demon
situation
Conclusion:
- Not Mossad
- Not CIA
- Not even inflation
…must be internal system error, caused by the kurds”
Revolutionary Guard briefing
Commander:
“We train for many threats… drones, cyberwar… but American TV host vs bedroom demon… this is new battlefield.”
Tehran taxi driver wisdom
Driver:
“My friend, if demon comes and even the dogs don’t wake up…
Either demon is very polite…
…or dogs also watching Netflix.”
Mom:
“You see? This is why I told you—don’t sleep with phone, TV, politics, and nonsense.
Drink tea. Sleep early. No demon. Simple.”
Final Iranian conclusion
Panel discussion:
- Economist: “Inflation is worse than demon.”
- Engineer: “Wi-Fi problems are worse than demon.”
- Grandma: “Marriage is worse than demon.”
All agree:
“Tucker survived. Respect. But still… eat lighter dinner.”
